Tag Archives: humour

The Controls Engineer

An unbelievable buzz at quarter past eight
disturbed my deep thoughts; It’s my phone on vibrate.

It crawls ‘cross the desk, two inches or more
If I leave it, I wonder, will it fall on the floor?

I answer it finally, it’s a privilege you see
to have this fine gilded leash fastened to me.

It turns out it’s Mike in the maintenance shack
He says they’ve been fighting the dispenser out back.

“No problem,” I say, “I’ll come have a look-see”
then closing my phone I gulp back my coffee.

What do I need? My laptop, for sure,
a null modem cable, three adapters, or four?

I’ve got TWO gender benders, that should be enough.
I used to have more; I keep losing this stuff.

I glance at my tool kit, haven’t used it since June-and
I won’t use it again since we got this union.

My battery gives me ’bout ten minutes power
I’ll take my adapter; driving back here’s an hour.

Then out to my car, on my way to Plant 2
they phone me again, three text messages too.

I’m over there fast but no parking in sight.
The overflow lot’s one block down on the right.

Up to the entrance and in through the door,
Remember to sign at the desk, nine-oh-four.

My old ID badge doesn’t work with this scanner
I wonder when she will be back from the can, or

should I just get someone else to come get me?
Mike doesn’t answer, I try Mark… how ’bout Jenny?

“Hi Jenny… never mind, the receptionist’s back.”
The door latch, it closes behind me, click-clack.

Out on the floor passing blue and white panels
Watch out for things painted caution-tape-yellow.

On the right is that cell with the new network NIC,
It didn’t work well with that 5/05 SLC.

To the left is the line I commissioned in May.
It’s sat idle so far; warranty’s up next Friday.

Two more aisles down this way, a left then a right.
Hey! Now I see the dispenser in sight.

“Good morning, Mike,” I said, “How can I help?”
Mike says, “Don’t worry mate, it was just a loose belt.”